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Identity: Conkers.

History: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Appearance: Nature's collectible doll.

That can't be accurate. It is. Go and watch a TikTok video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them refer to it as “the earth's Labubu”.

Unboxing conkers? What on earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are taking to TikTok to record videos unpeeling conkers from their prickly shells.

What's the reason? Because of the feeling of amazement! When you open up a conker, you never know what you’re going to get. Could it be large? Will it be flat? How shiny will it be? It is like a mystery box every time!

Are Labubus big and flat and shiny? No, they’re vaguely hellish-looking dolls that have become highly sought-after because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform the younger crowd that they are not using conkers correctly? Is that so? How do you play with horse chestnuts, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to break others' nuts. Wow, really? That’s unusual.

Yeah. You’ll have a much better chance of winning if you leave it in vinegar and then heat it in the oven. You're not joking?

Seriously. And should you gather an excess, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will compete to grab them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! The King recently awarded the World Conker Championships with three hundred horse chestnuts! At least young people are just recording videos.

Why don’t you know this? At a guess, because some schools started banning conkers twenty years back, due to various health and safety fears.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe unboxing conkers just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be more interested in some other popular gen Z trends.

Is that so? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called yarn work, and something else called clay crafting that I can explain to you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you boil the needles in cider and then use them to poke each other?

Certainly not! OK, relax. I assumed that all old-people traditions involved some type of aggression, after that horse chestnut game.

This is overwhelming. Take a breath. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Do say: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

Don’t say: “This is nuts.”