Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the moment," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the illness deteriorates.
"Possibly that's trauma or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and once I have the information, it's more manageable," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the issue, a number of scans revealed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can advance quickly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and over half within 730 days of identification, as eating and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an emotional Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the now.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Association
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the broader public.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen accessible and producing injury to neural pathways, consistent, intense training can trigger the condition in those inherently vulnerable.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his brave, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a training equipment and began engaging in collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the decisive moment of play, creating a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a couple of other former team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"The sport is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to consider your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
